Prom on Wednesday? NO WAY!

Students at Pearl River prepare for their Big Night - on a Wednesday instead of a Friday or Saturday. Image from the NYTimes.com -- http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/

2010/04/14/nyregion/14prom_CA0/14prom_CA0-articleLarge.jpg

This week, the New York Times reported that Pearl River High School of Pearl River, NJ held junior prom on a Wednesday and will hold senior prom on a Sunday in efforts to curb after partying.

Other schools around the country have held proms on weekdays for economic benefits such as cheaper social hall rental, according to the article, but students may miss school the following day. PRHS, on the other hand, requires all students to arrive by 7:34 AM the following day for class or they will not be able to make up academic work or participate in athletic activities. Harsh, huh? One student decided against going to his prom at RPHS because he "knows [his] teachers are going to be giving work that night. It just kind of kills it."

In the defense of the school, their PTA will be serving a fun breakfast in the morning followed by field day like activities until noon (then classes start up again) and partying had gotten very much out of hand. PRHS Principal Bill Furdon told the Times that, "By 10 PM, students were checking their watches and edging towards the exit to run out as soon as the King and Queen were crowned. Many pooled their money to charter party buses to carry them to Manhattan or the shore."

OK, so it was pretty out of hand. But I still think there are other ways to deal with a mess of after partying. In my town, we have curfew at 11 PM. When you leave the Junior Prom, the police on duty take your name or give you a slip of paper saying that you've left and are on your way home. All the cops know that it doesn't take all night to get home. There's a similar process for Senior Prom except that it's a pass to our town's Post Prom.

Post Prom: Parents of Senior students spend all year planning a crazy after party with prize drawings all the way until 5 AM for seniors. You don't have to attend the prom to go to Post Prom either. You just have to be a senior or a senior's date to the prom. Both Prom and Post Prom are breathalyzed to avoid the wild partying Furdon's on about and to keep students safe. Plus, Post Prom is free -- the parents do all the work and raise all the money to put together the five-hour party with a top-secret theme and assemble the prizes.

Prizes, prizes, prizes! The longer you stay, the cooler the prizes you can win - like flat screen TVs and laptops. You must be present to win though - meaning you can't skip out at 3 AM if you want the 5 AM prize. When students arrive at the Post Prom location, each senior is given a Senior Pack containing pencils and some prize tickets. The Senior writes his or her name on the tickets which they then deposit into various fishbowls for particular prizes. One participates in activities to win more tickets.

The extra awesome thing about Post Prom is that it rewards good kids. It gives you a place to go even if you otherwise wouldn't have continued your evening. You can win cool prizes and keep celebrating your class. On the flip side, it also keeps students safe.

Racine, WI - the self-proclaimed Prom Capitol of the World - also has a huge Post Prom party (although it makes ours look like a tiny dump). After an alcohol-related incident in 1952, the Rotary Club of Racine decided to create a drug-free, alcohol-free venue where prom-goers could continue celebrating. All 5 of the city's high schools feed into this one major party. The event is even televised to the whole town! (Serving a dual purpose: it gives the city a sort of holiday like the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade AND students know that if they're dumb enough to try to go drunk, the whole city will know about it.)

So, lovely New Jersey school - I get your point. Students shouldn't go on mad-dangerous after-party escapades after prom - point taken. But Prom should not be held on a weekday. That's just wrong. There are alternative ways - such as awesome, parent or town run Post Prom parties - to keep kids from getting into trouble. And those are much more celebratory and less derogatory. Put my prom on a Wednesday and you tell me, "Good grief! You are such a bad kid - You don't even deserve that beloved American Tradition of Prom!" Give me a place to go afterwards and you're saying, "Wow - you're growing up. Let's celebrate that! By the way, stick around and win a flatscreen for your dorm room, OK?"

the prom chair

Source:

Hu, Winnie. "Holding Prom on a School Night." New York Times. 14 Apr. 2010. Web. 17 Apr. 2010. .

Also check out the related discussion topics and responses:

Letter to the Editor in Response to the Article

Prom an Excuse to Drink? - Learning Blogs

So You Say You Can't Dance?!

Everyone can dance. It's a basic fact. Our bodies were made for it (otherwise, we wouldn't have these appendages so long). So stop thinking, "Crap! It's Prom! I can't dance!" Because you can. It's like Ratatouille - anyone can cook if they have the confidence to give it a shot.

Still, some seem more natural than others. Why is that? What makes the difference between a good freestyle prom dancer (freestyle = unrehearsed or unchoreographed dancing) and just another bouncin' kid? Are there any tips for unlocking the dancer in you? Plus, what makes a good dancing song?

Freestyle Prom Dancing

You're going to hate me when you read this but it's completely true. To succeed in dancing, you have to dance from your heart and follow it through the steps. Dancing is really not a brain centered activity. Seriously - sit down and watch Dancing with the Stars on a Monday night. The stars that analyze and try to do it "the brain way" typically fail miserably in some manner (it's very sad :'( ). The best advice I can give is that you find something that really inspires you and dance to honor that. Focus on 'feeling' the music (some call this becoming a second antenna for the radio waves... I think that comes off kind of sketchy but I suppose it makes the point). Dance because it's important to you - your passion or the dancing itself. The moment you think about what everyone else may or may not be thinking, you're going to start losing it. That's also when things get awkward for you. The sad reality is no one else is watching you. Literally, everyone else is busy panicking about dancing in front of other people, too. So just start focusing on yourself - dance like no one is watching because no one is.

Small Note: Dancing with Someone Else/In a Group

Well, it's awesome for starters BUT if you don't 'listen' to your partner's actions and react, then it's going to be weird. Pay attention! It's about you and that one other person (or your group if you're in a group). Forget the rest of the world - just let it fall away (if it doesn't do so effortlessly). Make it about your partner/group and having fun together. If you know who your partner might be ahead of time (for example, s/he is your date), get together a head of time. Dance around to iTunes music in a parking lot or a yard or a friend's living room. Get comfortable with dancing together. You can even be a little flirty while you practice. Remember: It's ok to be embarrassed but at the end of the day... well, this little light of mine - I'm sure as Sam-Heck going to let it shine!!

Top Tips

1. Join the music committee or the prom committee so you know what songs are going to be played (or at least some of them)
2. Practice to iTunes
3. Break in shoes in advance (really - nothing screws up prom night quite like blisters exploding on your date at post prom -- believe me!)
4. (really a corollary to #3....) Wear socks while you break in your shoes. THICK SOCKS.
5. Practice in your shoes - get used to them. Ladies: walk around the house in your shoes. When you buy them, dance a bit in the shoes store - better to look stupid for 2 minutes than find out that your new shoes are too high or too tight or fall off when you twirl when you get home or worse - at prom.
6. Eat something! Before you leave your house - eat a slice of bread. Eat at dinner. Sure, follow the swimming rule and wait 15 minutes before you hit the floor (you don't want to puke) - it's worth it. Maybe worse than throwing up is passing out on the dance floor. Seriously - chaperones will come running and cart you off so some EMT can take your blood pressure twenty times.
7. IF YOU'RE WEARING A LONG DRESS: Get used to the length. Especially if it has any kind of train on it.

So You're Selecting the Songs, or Some of Them anyway

What makes a great dancing song?

One that magnetically pulls you to your feet, obviously. But where does that come from? A great song can ignite a passion in you - the best songs can do it for many people. If you're building a playlist for anything, consider all the different kinds of people who may be attending your event and put a little something for everyone. Balance your energies: if everything you play is bubbly pop music, people will get bored and maybe somebody's eyes will make a magnificent exit from her/his face. On the other hand, if all you play is slow, break up songs - well, it's your party but don't say I didn't warn you. Vary your beats and melodies, too. Bored people aren't any fun. Think about the most popular radio station and how it plays a little bit of everything. You can learn a lot if you listen to the radio for an afternoon.

Alternatively, if you're working with a DJ, give him or her a list of a few songs you want to hear or you know most people definitely want played. Let the DJ do his/her job and figure out the rest. A word of caution: be careful with requests. They can really overrun everything and upset the delicate balance. Try setting up a fish bowl with a pen and slips of paper next to it. If someone wants a particular song played, then s/he can write the song and artist down on a slip of paper and drop it in the fish bowl. Every now and then, your DJ can pull one or two out.

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Our Math Teacher Stole the Prom Money?

Laurie Halse Anderson's Prom is about a school in Philadelphia called Carcaras High School. When the prom advisor/math teacher embezzles the students' money for prom a week before the Big Night, the prom committee, including Ashley Hannigan's best friend Natalia (incidentally, the Chair), must scramble to reorganize and recreate the whole event.

While all of Ashley's friends may be addicted to the prom madness, Ashley sees the event the way several cynical pundits do: a lot of money on an out-of-date evening from which the take-away is a bunch of awkward memories anyone can live without. Natalia, however, is obsessed. She always has the latest prom magazine in hand and she's the Prom Chair (which I can tell you takes effort). When the funds are stolen, Natalia begs Ashley to help. Ashley concedes to her friend but never anticipates that she might become the de facto chair. Low and behold, Natalia breaks her leg tripping down the stairs trying to break in her prom heels and gets stuck in a wheelchair -- the reigns pass to Ashley.

When I read this book, I was entertained by the parallels between Natalia's pink notebook and my computer to do lists and spreadsheets. Ashley inherits this notebook and cannot believe the to do lists Natalia had developed. She describes how it was overstimulating and overwhelming and scary. Anderson's portrayal of the responsibilities of the prom chair were impressively accurate. She really nailed it!

As far as prom advisors stealing the money and having to re-plan the prom within a week, well, that's a whole additional senior project. Natalia wandered through the halls essentially aimlessly and stunned for the first several hours after she found out. I'd probably come off like someone had hit me in the with a frying pan, too.

the prom chair

Citation: "Anderson, Laurie Halse. Prom. [New York]: Viking, 2005. Print."

Prom as a Cultural Right

Many have heard about Constance McMillen, the student from Fulton, MI who was denied her right to attend prom by her school board because she wished to go with her girlfriend. To that end, most bloggers have explored the unfairness and down right discrimination against homosexual couples in high school settings. Since there's a lot out there on the subject, I'd like to look at this from a different angle.

Do students have the right to prom? Or just the privilege? Sure, administrations make revoke a student's opportunity to participate in prom night in serious disciplinary situations but I propose that these extreme punishments do not obstruct the cultural mindset that every American student should have the opportunity to participate in this hallowed high school benchmark night.

As a society, Americans have been promoting prom as an institution since the 1950s. Today, the average American teenager spends $600 on the night (Katie's Project, TheSunNews.com). Money tends to show how seriously our culture takes something. $600 is a quite a bit. The perfect date, the perfect hair, the perfect dress -- most girls I know have dreamed about prom since they watched Cinderella for the first. Prom is our night to be princes and princesses - and our society takes that very seriously.

The 1980s heralded the cinema era for Prom. Hollywood commemorates the event in the vast majority of its teen movies, or it substitutes by concluding with some other large, prom-style dance. Pretty in Pink starring Molly Ringwald serves as a primer for preteens. More recently, Disney's High School Musical 3: Senior Year highlights society's value of prom. Troy drives 1000 miles from Albuquerque to Stanford in northern California to "bring prom" to his girlfriend Gabriella. He declares that there is no prom for him without her. He even brings a corsage, the flower traditionally worn on a girl's wrist at prom (usually given to her by her date), and slips it onto her wrist.

Given the media deluge and the amount of money spent on prom each year, it is evident that Prom is an ingrained American tradition - a cultural right as much as fireworks on the Fourth of July. To deny anyone this right for any reason other than severe disciplinary cases is plainly despicable.

Costs of Prom:

YouthNoise Factiods

TheSunNews.com

Troy and Gabriella Prom (YouTube Video)

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April 14th Update:

Constance McMillen will be grand marshall of the gay pride parade in New York City this year on June 27. Sadly, her prom night was stolen from her but some good has resulted from her story. Constance, you got the word out there and raised awareness. We are all created equal. You fought for your rights as an American. When you march, you truly deserve that march so congratulations.

New York Times - Unwelcome at Prom, but Leading Pride Parade

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Prom Shopping with Friends: I Dare You!!!!

A month ago, I posted "Sister Says" regarding shopping for a prom dress with family. As a follow up, here follows my follow up on searching with a friend.

First piece of advice: Go for a little road trip with your mum. Check out the options. Find out what your budget is and what your parents expect. Remember: in addition to the dress (or tux), there's the actual tickets, boutonniere/corsage, shoes possibly, and accessories.

Second piece of advice: If you have huge feet like me (I'm an 11. I kid you not) or a piece of family jewelry you want to wear to Prom, you should find the dress to match those items - bring them with you or bring pictures of them to show the salesperson.

With those things in mind, I suggest you head to a mall to shop with your friends. Malls are full of a variety of stores. They usually have a Macy's, Lord & Taylor and/or JCPenney -- all of which ship in 'occasion' (prom) dresses. A tip about the department store dress: someone else will likely have that gown. Maybe even in that colour.

The last two days, my friend who is attending Prom for the first time this year and myself have had no school so we headed to a nearby mall with our mums. Since I have a dress, the focus was on her. On the way there, I asked her to describe what she's looking for. Every girl has some aspect of their dress picked out somehow. They've seen it in a magazine or on TV or they had a dream about it. One girl I knew wanted her party dress based on a Barbie she'd had 10+ years ago.

When we arrived, we explored a variety of colours to find out what palette best fitted her complexion. We also tested a variety of lengths to find out which was the most comfortable and appropriate. Our mums were a great help because they could do zippers. My friend's mum did her zippers for her which makes it less awkward if you're a very modest person. After a while, we were choosing dresses for each other to try on. That was a very lively, memorable experience. One of the great things about going to try out dresses with friends is that they will push you outside your comfort zone to try on something you wouldn't normally ever remotely consider. Plus, not every dress you try on has to actually be a viable consideration.

Each time my friend came out of the dressing room, my mum and I made her 'road test' the dress. You don't buy a car without driving it. It's the same thing: you don't buy a prom dress without dancing in it. If you can't dance in the dress at the store, it's going to be a nightmare Prom - which is a dance, some people forget. Another tip: Bring a camera or a cellphone camera with you. Don't buy a dress the first day. Sleep on it, consider the photos, talk it over with your parents. Personally, I do wish I'd had a camera when I went with my family. I remembered one when I went with my friend and we had a blast going through the pictures later.

My Aunt Shari: Amateur in Floral Arrangements

My Aunt Shari is so cool. When she came up to visit early last May, she arranged some roses for my mum's Kentucky Derby Party. Recalling this, I decided to phone her up to get the scoop on florists and DIY flowers. Another great resource has been (please don't consider me crazy!) Real Simple Weddings. Pages 68-81 are all about flowers. While it may be geared towards weddings, the advice is very applicable to prom and the colour and flower charts have been very useful. Committee and I have also explored local options and prices including Stop & Shop, a wholesale plants nursery called Valley View Wholesale Greenhouses, Bon Fleur (a flower boutique in our town), Food Emporium and Stew Leonard's floral section. While these trips are time consuming, they have also been very useful and educational. It's important to explore all of your options, consider your theme, your colours and the overall ambience you want to create.

An Interview with Aunt Shari:

Her parents and now her sister used to be florists. Having been around the industry, she knows a bunch of the tricks....

Where do you look for inspiration when you do flowers?

In some ways, I look at nature to see what's growing and around. I sometimes also look at books. Sometimes, if I saw something a while ago, I'll pull that from my own experience.

Have you done your own arrangements?

I have but I'm kind of limited. I've seen some really cool ones where they've tied up roses together in a long stemmed vase. It has kind of a topiary look. They're great for like a buffet table. And they're quite easy to make. (For Aunt Shari's Rose Topiary Trees, see the end of this post)

When you're looking for a florist, what do you look for? What are the 'tells' of a great florist?

When I'm looking for a florist, I want to know if they're doing up-to-date work. I look for blown-glass vases - it's their job to find you vases that don't cost too much - kind of light (versus heavy) glass. I know they're good if I can look through the glass and see the stems - no 'oasis', aka floral foam. If they're really good, they make a grid with floral tape and stick the flowers in and it keeps the flowers in position.

What's your ideal arrangement?

I guess I like something with birds of paradise or ginger - it gives you a big, modern look with fewer flowers. I think those are stunning, the modern arrangements. Those flowers just grow in places like San Diego, just out in the yard. They're so exotic!

On a budget, if you were ordering centerpieces for 40 tables, what would you pick out?

If I were to pay to have an arrangement done, I'd probably get a spring mix because I know I'm getting the biggest bang for my buck. Plus, if you do a mixed spring, you wouldn't have to make all the arrangements match as much. If I had that many tables, I'd even through in some ferns on a couple of tables.

What exactly goes in a spring mix arrangement?

It's going to be whatever the florist has on hand. Probably some mums, spider mums are really good looking. There's going to be some filler flowers. Perhaps some stargazer lilies, carnations or pixie carnations. The florist can help you make selections.

How about for cocktail or buffet tables?

Cocktail tables - you can almost just skip them. People

often leave dishes on them. They just aren't that important.

Buffet tables - First, you need to know if your buffet table serves both sides. If it is serving on both sides, you need a round arrangement (so it looks pretty on all sides). If it's only serving on one side, you can get a linear arrangement. Plus, you don't want your flowers down in an oasis (in this case, a low-lying bowl). Really, if you're going to get someone to make the arrangements, you want clear vases with stems showing - it's very up-to-date. Yo don't want a basket - baskets are from the 70s and if they use a ribbon, you probably want a sheer one and keep to a minimum. The rose topiary trees can also have good height on a buffet table - try one at either end.

Tips and Tricks

• If you're trying for a theme, your flowers affect that ambiance. Flowers like roses, ginger and birds of paradise are elegant. Stargazer lilies and roses are very classy. Mixed arrangements containing daisies, daisy mums or carnations are less formal.
• The most expensive times to buy flowers is Valentine's Day. Then, the price fluctuates until Mother's Day when it spikes again. The cheapest prices are in the middle of the summer.
• Flowers should always be 1.5 or 2 times the height of the vase.
• Sometimes, a florist will make what's called a "European garden" which is a combination of cut and planted flowers. They aren't long term (Don't think 'house plant' or 'biology class extra credit'). "I think they're stunning," related Aunt Shari with a vigor.
• People usually go for height, especially on buffet tables. Gladiolas are great for a mixed spring type thing with carnations and mums.

How to Tell if Roses will Last:

Lightly pinch the head. If it's firm, it will last longer. If it's soft, it won't last as long.

Aunt Shari's Rose Topiary Trees

You will need: 6-8 roses per tree, vase, sheer wired ribbon, marbles, floral tape (or use your sheer ribbon), gloves in case of thorns

1. Cut the roses and put them in warm water so that they drink it up
2. Pull those stems together
3. Put them down in the vase
4. Tie with floral tape or ribbon just below the heads of the roses at the top of the vase
5. Add some water
6. Add your marbles (to hold the roses upright - otherwise they will fall to one side)

Prom Around the World - Celebrating the End of Secondary School Education

Most are familiar with the drill: the last dance, king and queen, ball gowns and tuxedos - it's that scene from the end of every American teenage movie since the 80s. Prom is widely considered a decidedly American affair but is that actually true?

Prom is the final party a Class experiences before graduation. If ever there was a fountain of youth, it's the Prom. The event could be viewed as the first step on the bridge into life after high school (Graduation, of course, is the final one). The night is filled with imagination and partying but it has a sense of elegance and maturity about it, too. In this sense, prom is a universal affair. Nearly every country's secondary schools have a last dance for graduating students. Names and traditions of these dances at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prom. I used to attend an all-girls' school in London, England. Even they had a prom - called "Leaver's Ball" - honoring upper-sixth form graduating students.

The magnitude of these events varies, however. In some countries, Prom isn't to big a deal. Even within the United States, 'promitude' changes from place to place. While researching, I discovered a documentary (http://www.snagfilms.com/films/watch/the_worlds_best_prom/?utm_source=www.worldsbestprom.com) about Racine, Wisconsin. Since 1953, Prom has been the business of this population 85 000 town. All five high schools feed into one $30 000 - budgeted post prom hosted by the Rotary Club. The whole event is televised and commentated. One group of seniors rode an elephant to the night's events in 1988. According to the Class of 2000 seniors interviewed for the documentary, you stick out 12 years of Racine education just to go to Prom. Others just have prom in the school gym and go home.

Perhaps the truest mark of prom's universality is that similar events are now held in former Soviet Union countries. During the Cold War, the Soviets observed Prom as an inherently American, capitalist endeavor - and heavily discouraged them in Eastern Bloc schools. Many of these countries, including Slovenia, Lithuania and Slovakia, now have their own Last Dance traditions.

Dear Graduating Class of 2010ers: Congratulations! And when you attend your Last Dance, think about how cool it is that our global peers are doing the same thing. :)

the prom chair

http://www.promguide.com/articles/high_school_prom.aspx

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prom

http://www.worldsbestprom.com/